I deleted my okcupid

But if you want someone to date, I hear this dudes looking for a hook up. 

Only at 6:55 in the morning though. Shame. 

An awesome way to charm women is to tell them you’ll never meet, shit on the place where they live, and then admit that you don’t have similar tastes. 

An awesome way to charm women is to tell them you’ll never meet, shit on the place where they live, and then admit that you don’t have similar tastes. 

by far the bitchiest thing I’ve ever said on okcupid. But seriously…learn how to spell. 

by far the bitchiest thing I’ve ever said on okcupid. But seriously…learn how to spell. 

 That 9% unmatch is huge. 

 That 9% unmatch is huge. 

Dear OKCupid,
There appears to be a error on your site. No one is responding to my messages and I strongly suspect some sort of internal glitch. I am certain the problem is not on my side because well, frankly, I am awesome.

Dear OKCupid,

There appears to be a error on your site. No one is responding to my messages and I strongly suspect some sort of internal glitch. I am certain the problem is not on my side because well, frankly, I am awesome.

This is either a typo or the creepiest message in okcupid history.
But in the case of the former, I might argue Freudian slip. 

This is either a typo or the creepiest message in okcupid history.

But in the case of the former, I might argue Freudian slip. 

In way of explanation, it does say in my profile that emoticons make me want to punch people in the throat.

In way of explanation, it does say in my profile that emoticons make me want to punch people in the throat.

I am really cool and fun to be with, but for some reason that just doesn’t seem to logically add up to hanging out with Tyler…in my head, at least.

I am really cool and fun to be with, but for some reason that just doesn’t seem to logically add up to hanging out with Tyler…in my head, at least.

It’s just so problematic to send a 24 year old girl (whose requested age range is 25-35) a message when you’re 51.
Especially this message. 
So. So. Problematic

It’s just so problematic to send a 24 year old girl (whose requested age range is 25-35) a message when you’re 51.

Especially this message. 

So. So. Problematic

image

This is one that a friend of mine sent me, and is a prime example of why you probably shouldn’t message people who you’re only a 53% match just because you think they’re cute. The rating system is based on a series of personality questions  and, honestly, it’s usually crazy accurate.

Here, this guy thinks that my friend would find a question like “you’re not secretly a 45 year old man” with a corny-ass emoticon somehow  charming.

She most certainly wouldn’t. Because she’s not…well… whatever demographic of female finds a comparison to a 45 year old man charming….

That being said, someone who is close to your match percentage isn’t going to be your match. Clearly. If that were true I’d be married and popping out hella babies right now to the guy who sent me this message:

image

You know, I guess some girls think this kind of thing is really cute and endearing. I’m not really sure. I feel like it’s just creepy and annoying. 
Sometimes I feel a disconnect with the entire world
I actually think I prefer Frank Wesley to any of these guys. 

You know, I guess some girls think this kind of thing is really cute and endearing. I’m not really sure. I feel like it’s just creepy and annoying. 

Sometimes I feel a disconnect with the entire world

I actually think I prefer Frank Wesley to any of these guys. 

Read: “I’m not really that picky and I’ll rush into anything”

Read: “I’m not really that picky and I’ll rush into anything”

He didn’t get the pun and, as a result, I found out what happens when you actually respond to someone on okcupid.
I dig how he is trying to seem really cool and casual, but actually has the whole night completely planned out.

He didn’t get the pun and, as a result, I found out what happens when you actually respond to someone on okcupid.

I dig how he is trying to seem really cool and casual, but actually has the whole night completely planned out.

Dear Sir,
I don’t really have a problem with cute funny guys in NYC, but I kind of have a problem with your thinly veiled prostitution solicitation.

Dear Sir,

I don’t really have a problem with cute funny guys in NYC, but I kind of have a problem with your thinly veiled prostitution solicitation.

I could only partially black out this username because I dug the double entendre involved in “halo playa”

I could only partially black out this username because I dug the double entendre involved in “halo playa”